I didn’t have time to finish my usual post because I was too busy
having fun saving the world, so please forgive me. Instead, I bring to you photos of random things I’ve come upon. Apologies to my FB friends who have seen these before, but maybe you haven’t seen them because FB keeps changing its feed algorithm. Also, am reusing and recycling, so if you complain, you’ll make yourself look bad. So there.
I came upon this on my way to work walking to the train and posted “My! Looks like Barbie had quite a night last night!” That set off quite a spirited discussion, which ended with me initiating talks with the Mattel to launch two new lines: “Walk of Shame Barbie” and “Tart Barbie.” I’m sure they will call me back soon.
I also found this one on my way to work. I thought it was a killer bee, but turns out it’s a cicada, a word I can never say and always have to look up to spell. My sharp-eyed friends informed me what it was and also commented that they can be attacked by ginormous bees, while others named her and commented on the Chapstick. Using these prompts and nothing but my wits, I came up with this story, which I will turn into a picture book as soon as the Mattel deal is sealed.
“Despite the fact that Katie was self-conscious about her pointy butt and obsessed with keeping her face smooth with Chapstick, she was the kind of cicada who’d be the first to send you a get well card if you’d been attacked by one of those nasty ginormous wasps.”
From earlier in the summer, these are the first “fruits” of my little patio garden. What the heck? I diagnosed it as “Butt Rot,” which must be a real thing because none of my sharp-eyed friends corrected me.
I call this “Up Periscope”–the rest of the bush is pooped out from blooming all summer and the branches are like, “Aw, screw it, fall is coming, I need a rest.” Except Perky Pete at the top. This branch is like the four-year-old at Christmas trying to wake everyone up. “Guys! Guys! Check this out! It’s really cool!”
And finally there’s this guy. This is the White Squirrel Saga. For a number of years there has been a white squirrel running around near my work, He’s kind of an unofficial mascot and a topic of conversation, like “I saw the white squirrel today,” and “What was the white squirrel doing.” Well not long ago, my coworker came in breathless to inform us she’d witnessed the horror of the white squirrel being devoured by a hawk. We were all stunned, but after a few moments of reflection, we realized that being a white squirrel, while entertaining for us, pretty much sucks for him. It’s like a sign saying to hawks, “Hey, here I am, come eat me!” But there was hope, my coworker told me there was an other one, which I didn’t realize. So the next few days followed and we were content we still had a white squirrel left…until I came upon him flattened in the road. While I was standing there, mourning, a car (not the one that hit him) actually stopped, and the woman rolled down her window and yelled, “Oh no! The white squirrel!” Oh no, indeed. I duly informed my coworkers and now we were sad. Such a rare animal, our beloved mascot, and we’d been blessed by having two of them. A few sad days followed, until lo! I saw another white squirrel! There must be three of them. I reported back to my coworkers and we were jubilant until we, being fickle humans, started to think about it. Heck if there are three, that’s not very rare, is it? Maybe there is a whole family of them. What’s so special about that? OK, we did have that thought , but we came to our senses. Look at that face. We’re still rooting for ya little guy!