I wrote this before election day, and believe me, I have plenty to say about that. But let’s first breathe deep and not panic. More to come, but in the meantime, I think this post covers unintentionally the mood of at least 47% of us. Hang in there folks.
Over the years of camping on the Saco River, we have done many tours of duty trying to keep the beautiful river and woods pristine and treat them with respect. We have picked up people’s regular camping trash, like a case of empty beer cans, left over food, plastic food packaging, and paper goods. We have hauled out brand new coolers, pillows, camping stoves and grills, often used only for that one trip. One year we found a canopy whose crime seemed to be that it wouldn’t fold back into its neat portable package. In one dramatic case of what we assume was flash flooding, we broke down and hauled out two complete 2-person tents, the fly of a 4-person tent, and found a brand new tag for a 20-person tent, which they either took with them or it floated down the river. That site also included half cases of Snow’s Chowder and Chef Boyardee, full cans, boxes of Pop-Tarts, a large empty bottle of vodka, empty beer cans, and weed gummy wrappers.
Poorly covered poop in the woods is also a common occurrence, but the presence of toilet paper at least gives you the heads up, and I guess from a lazy person’s point of view, it’s technically biodegradable. Generally we just shake our heads and leave it alone. All of this behavior is so perplexing to us, and maybe part of the cause is our consumer society of cheap and disposable things. That and some people really must be that stupid and careless.
Although we didn’t get to the Saco as many times this year, when we did, we found less trash and no abandoned equipment. As we headed to the Saco for Labor Day, we were cautiously optimistic. Maybe those obnoxious people who had been forced outside by the pandemic were finding other places and other ways to be jerks. Hooray! And also our sympathies to whoever has to now clean up after them.
Optimism is great and all, but I’m here to tell you my friends that you never stop having to deal with other people’s shit. Unfortunately, I mean that literally. After we set up, a group camped on the beach next to ours for one night. They were a little boisterous, but not outrageously so. They lit off a few fireworks, but it’s legal in Maine, so if they want to shoot their fingers off, who am I to argue? They packed up the next morning and headed out. All in all, they were decent neighbors.
We went over to see if they left anything behind. At first glance the beach looked pretty clean, but we found evidence of what we call “fake nice” gestures. There was a box with two Duraflame logs, and two rolls of toilet paper. That seems nice, until you realize Labor Day weekend pretty much ends the camping season for most people, so who did they think was going to take or use this stuff? The toilet paper would eventually disintegrate, but the Duraflame logs are wood and chemicals that would find their way into the water.
Then brand new, bright white garbage bags with red ties caught our eyes. Several were thrown haphazardly into the woods, and one was hanging on a low tree limb. That was a new one for us. What they hell were they doing? A bag toss drinking game? Upon closer inspection, but not too close, we discovered they contained poop and pee.
We were speechless. We’d been able to rationalize people leaving behind equipment — clearly they were just too lazy to fold stuff back up properly. But this?? It was actually more work to leave it in a plastic bag and throw it around than just straight up poop and pee in the woods. What the actual hell?
My friend is fearless and impervious. He collected the bags and then made a specific fire away from us to burn it. At least the idiots left behind the Duraflame logs which helped start the shit fire.
And similar to other times when we encountered humans’ stupidity, disregard for nature, selfishness, laziness, and incomprehensible ways of thinking, we spent a good portion of the rest of the trip discussing this literal shit, just as you are doing right now: Why couldn’t they have [fill in the blank with 5 to 10 other, easier options that wouldn’t involve a plastic bag]?
So next time you have to deal with other people’s emotional, dysfunctional, behavioral shit, think of us, and be grateful that you don’t have to deal with their literal shit. Because that just stinks.
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