Around this time I try to write about the top 5 posts from the year as a transparent attempt to get the view numbers up. Also, it’s easier than thinking up new junk to write. For obvious reasons I was leaning against it — who in bloody hell wants to revisit anything from this year? But guess what? You guys did it for me.
I ran the stats for the top 5 read blogs this year, and only one was actually written this year. At first I was kind of insulted — I worked my ass off under insane circumstances, and you just hopped over to shit I wrote years ago? But then I realized, well, of course. No one wanted to be around this year, so why not jump back into the blog time machine, when I had brain cells and self-proclaimed wit to make funny little life observations, oh, ha ha ha, how precious! As the final diss to 2020, I will remove the one blog from this year that made it to the top 5 and replace it with #6. Sue me. And so, here are the things you were reading this year — oh, and many thanks for doing so.
5. It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint. A little diddy on the Boston Marathon, and, oh yeah, racism.
4. Northern Exposure: Same as It Ever Was. This show is still relevent, but you still can’t stream it. You can still get it from the library though, which I think many people discovered this year.
3. Jilted by My Hairdresser—Twice. This blog is from 2015, but I wrote the original before the internet was a thing. So let that blow your mind. Yes, I’m that old.
2. Guardian of Harlan Ellison’s Coat. So I realized I posted this once in 2015 and again in 2017. Is that why you all were reading it? Is it because I have a lot of sci fi fans who know who Harlan Ellison is? Is it because the newish Star Trek show Discovery recently had an episode about the Guardian of Forever, which Harlan created in an episode he wrote for the original Star Trek? We may never know, but spoiler alert — Harlan Ellison may have been a great writer with a fabulous coat, but he was also a jerk. Satan rest his soul.
- Alpha Flee. This one from 2016 comes up a lot in my top post searches. At first I couldn’t figure out why — who cares about Greek life on campus more than 30 years ago? I mean I know it’s a funny, well-written piece, but so are a lot of my blogs, and they don’t land in the #1 spot. A-hem. But I happened to notice the most popular search terms, and one is “Alpha Phi secret handshake.” Which I know. And I tell all in the blog. So, you all like secrets revealed. I might have more, but there’s a good chance I’ve forgotten them. Looks like you’ll have to settle for funny. The photo by the way is of actual Alpha Phi women way before my time. They were weird then, and I’m fairly certain they are still weird.
Hang in there folks — 2021 is coming. And in the meantime I have posts all the way back to 2014 to help you time travel.