Nay-chuh, It’s What’s for Dinner

OK, before I go on, I want to explain the title. As I was thinking of “Nay-chuh” comma, what-else-do-I-say, an ad campaign from the early 90s popped in my head: “Beef. It’s What’s for Dinner” with its catchy tune and food visuals. Here’s a little sampling. Cue fiddles and violins. No matter that it’s a blatant play by the beef industry to destroy our arteries and ruin the land and torment cattle. Look, I can’t help what’s cataloged in my brain, and that shit is catchy as hell. Also they have a website under the same name with recipes if that’s your jam.

OK, back to my regular strangeness, not the recesses-of-my-mind strangeness.

So, how’s your cronageddon going? I hope you’re washing your hands and not going to places where there are a lot of other human beings, and staying home. Really, it’s not about protecting yourself, it’s important to protect the people who are old and whose who are immunocompromised. You can carry it around and be fine, and then you chat up some cute granny, and bam! She’s down. Don’t do that OK? Kids are fair game and seemingly immune. But don’t let them near granny either. Kids are germ factories.

So what CAN you do? Go outside, (preferably alone or in small groups)! Isn’t that a kick in the pants (as the Rat Pack used to say)? Guess what? Humankind is going to hell in a hand basket, but nature is just doing its thing, with absolutely no regard for us. And we can watch unharmed. I find that comforting. No toilet paper? (Seriously, what is UP with that, people?) Nature’s like, whatev, dudes, I got bigger fish to fry. Like pushing leaves out:

No hand sanitizer? Nature’s like, too bad, I’m busy ordering the robins to stare you dead in the eyes, like, enjoy the day, human, after the virus, I will still be here.

Can’t figure out how to use Zoom to participate in your Zumba class? Nature’s like, technology is lame, check out my masterpiece bitches! I didn’t even have to code it!