Post Thanks and the Dark Side of Carrots

Thanksgiving was busy and wonderful and there were many moments with friends and family I am grateful for. In a few instances I was laughing my ass off, but thanks to my middle-aged brain I can’t really remember what I was laughing about–let’s just say you had to be there.

So you can blame gratitude for the fact that this week I couldn’t get it together to write a regular post, or if I did it would have been sappy and positive, and who the hell needs that? Instead, I was recovering from all the post Thankgiving festivities and preparing my vegetable snacks for the week because I’m older and this is what life has come to. Snacking on vegetables. Go ahead and laugh young ones, and call me in 20-30 years. I hope you’ll be snacking on something more futuristic, yet similarly ridiculous.

So there I was emptying the bag of “baby carrots” when I discovered the ugly dark underbelly of this misnamed product.

They aren’t babies.

Look at that long witch/snowman nose shaped carrot lurking among the “babies” like the old hag in a fairy tale looking for tender flesh in exchange for a prince’s greedy wish.

I’m crushed, crushed I tell you! Wish me luck getting it away from the others. It had a mean look in its pointy end. And please join me in my petition to name these carrots more accurately. Like carrot stumps or witch carrot sacrifices. You know,  something truthful that rolls off the tongue. I’m sure we can all be grateful for that.