Back in June I posted a blog about dieting tips for the lazy in mid-life; for example eating the same thing for days frees you from having to think about calorie counting and food prep. Dieting five days instead of seven also takes less exertion. I could go on and on, but suffice to say that since then I have lost 12 pounds, count ‘em 12, in 6…
..months! I actually may have lost 14 pounds, but to be honest, when I got on the scale that fateful day and my perimenopausal mid-drift roll was big enough to rest a cell phone on, I blacked out a bit looking down at the blinking number on the scale. It was somewhere above my pregnancy weight, which any ex-pregnant woman will tell you is not a place you want to revisit without a baby being involved.
But back to my Lazy Mid-Life Miracle Weight Loss Program; I believe I have discovered an entirely new approach to weight loss. Let’s face it, the market for losing weight fast is totally saturated. The middle ground dieting market is practical and based on sound medical advice, which is why no one pays attention to it. If we were practical and medically sound eaters, we wouldn’t have a weight problem in the first place. So what’s left? Lazy dieting! Dieting so slowly, anyone can do it!
I don’t want my Lazy Miracle Weigh Loss Program to sound like a scam, so I will disclose the one downside: I lost the weight so gradually, no one noticed. True, that meant I was hiding my previous weight gain very well—I’m the queen of elastic waist band work pants and slightly tailored, yet roomy tops. I could feel my clothes getting looser, and at first that was good enough. I didn’t mind people not noticing. I mean the first five pounds hardly count: I can gain and lose that around my period. But, 12 pounds (perhaps 14, pending hypnosis memory recovery) should solicit some kind of comment. I started thinking about how to work my weight loss casually into a conversation. By this time my yoga teacher had returned from taking the summer off (read about those summer misadventures in my post I’m the Jerry Seinfeld of Yoga). At yoga, I wear loose-fitting tops, which hide a multitude of sins, but yoga pants are the Catholic confessional of clothing. Forgive me father, for I have eaten!
I would like to say the yoga class enlightened me and I transcended these mundane thoughts and made peace with my best-kept secret weight loss, but you should know me better than that. Lucky for me, my teacher is the perfect combination of yogi with a real woman edge—she’s encouraged us by saying how the pose will help us look good for swimsuit season. As we were setting up, she said, “Wow, you look great! What have you been doing?” With a big Namaste smile, I answered, “Practically nothing!”
So my final tip for lazy dieters is don’t forget to go to yoga class. Some of the poses are great for swimsuit season.