Hey, we made it through another week.
Just a reminder that none of what is going on in our government is normal. I feel the need to say it in the face of the gaslighting that is surely coming.
The rollercoaster is just beginning, and baby we are not strapped in. I’ve already felt the kickup of anxiety, which first visited me during COVID. My immediate reaction was, “Goddamn it not again!” followed by feelings of failure. Like it’s my fault I can’t keep the destruction of democracy from causing me anxiety. At least I know what to do about it — sorry coffee, you’re relegated to the weekends. Maybe. But then some days later, I was feeling stronger, and that mug of tea was a helpful reminder: “Goddamn it, COVID didn’t get me, and you Cheeto flea motherfucker and Elon Dementor Mouseketeer aren’t going to get me either.”
I am throwing shit at the wall of what to do to see what sticks. Or am I throwing toilet paper at the wall of shit to see what I can do? Is that too gross? Oh, now I’m having toilet paper shortages memories. OK, back to the point. I am trying things. I tried a virtual group meditation. I remember reading about studies showing that communities that meditated brought down crime rates. Maybe they could bolster democracy. But when only four other white women showed up, and the facilitator asked us to share our feelings, I don’t think she was looking for me to share, “Goddamn motherfuckers!” I did not share, I meditated, and crossed that off the list.
So what did stick?
A friend went to a meeting with our Massachusetts Senators Markey and Warren organized by https://www.mobilize.us/indivisible/. Markey’s staffers said even though we aren’t constituents of Senators Collins (ME) and Murkowski (Alaska), it can make a difference to contact them. So I did. Indivisible is all about concrete actions.
Another thing I’ve been thinking about is how my father who was born in Holland and lived through WWII told me stories about the small acts of resistance. There was one about an older man who moved the bridge over the canal to let boats pass. If they were Nazis, he’d pretend to be very old and stooped over and crank the bridge very slowly — not so slowly that he would get shot, but slow enough to irritate them. My grandmother pretended to have highly contagious dysentery when a German soldier came to the door. There were 1,000s of people doing the same thing. Opportunities will come up, and right now even being kind to a fellow person is an act of resistance. We all come from people who survived some really awful things. The fact that we’re here proves it. Some days that helps and some it doesn’t, but when it does, I want to use it.
The thing that really did it for me was when my friend Mike told me that during the AIDS epidemic, they had a saying: Attend funerals in the morning, protest in the afternoon, and dance at night. He told me when we were on our way to a club to dance our troubles away for a night. Something about the balance helped shift things for me. I imagine indigenous people, Black people, and any other groups that have faced annihilation have some similar wisdom.
Once again, my gay friends have saved me. I read a few things about the Demented Mouseketeer’s coup, then I send emails to senators, read about racism, or just tell myself THIS IS NOT NORMAL. Then I do my best to let it all go. Then I start over.
I’m only a few days in on this, so I’ll let you know how it goes. See the above text about rollercoasters and anxiety.
Lastly, I receive this weekly email of actions to take and once a month a list of good news — laws that were passed, wrongs addressed, good outcomes based on people taking actions.
As I type this, people are showing up to protest, are flooding the phones and emails of our representatives. Our senators and representatives are find their back bone. A big thank you to Senator Warren — you are a rock star. We’re not going down easy, and with sustained effort, not going down at all.
And next week, I’ll have a fun account of another thing I tried that was an Epic fail. Stay tuned!
sandradeden.com 